On What It's Like to Live Alone

I went 12 years without a sibling

Without a mom, only one half of father

I went 2 years without supervision, my first blackout left a mark on the door

I went 8 more years without weekends,

And the next two, without evenings

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You lose count after 60 hours

after your 50th portafilter lock at 5am

between crying kids

joyful kids too,

when your partner can't see that the house is burning down

​

The days will blur in between

A year will feel like a handful of months

And suddenly I realize

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That I was alone, but only half-way, always bound by neglect and codependency

but then I decided,

I won't be a l o n e,

instead

encased by love.

And now all I wanna be

is god damn left alone

​

I asked my case of love, the building blocks, the bricks, the cement, my

foundation

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"What do you enjoy most about living alone? I think I'm scared because I forgot

how to."

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They said:

-I thought I was gonna die, but   guess   what????!!! nothing happens.

-sing ugly, sing loud, do it naked

-buy ALL your favorite ice cream flavors and share it with no one

-I like to fuddy duddy with my plants

-get lost in a new place; flaneur

-i love being high by myself

-play the same 4 videos for days on end

-i like to leave a mess and not have to worry about someone bitching about it later

​

​

it seems like everybody was in on something I didn't know

and it reminded me that

being alone

is a nice luxury.

​

Doodles

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Ever since I took an art class in college, I have found many techniques to express myself. My favorite being that one time I was able to express social change in my education stance. There I was able to use a collage of my pictures I took in my phone for that year as well as quotes that related to me. It was amazing to see my growth as an individual and artist and very grateful many recognize that. For this year, I decided to take a different approach and just doodle my emotions away. Please enjoy some of the many doodles I have done. Peace and love–Ang